mymymy--

--it's a beautiful world.

You ever have those moments where you stop and think..."whoa. i think i'll spend the next six days processing what just happened?" In my mind, there are more smaller, seemingly unimportant at the time occurances that profoundly influence my life than large, monumental, earth-shattering moments. It's totally the little things that matter most to me.

The other day, I was working at the Y and this older man began complaining to me about the things we should have done at the pool--a whirlpool, a sauna, a deeper "shallow" end, a better chlorine-remover in the air--the list goes on. I thought to myself, "alright--is this guy going to complain all day and make my life worse for the next twenty minutes?" He goes into small talk, asking me what I'm majoring in and the like. I tell him music education, and he goes into what turned out to be one of the most profound stories I've heard in a long time.

He grew up in Pennsylvania, where they required you to play an instrument if you were in public school. He actually moved there part of the way through a school year and had to pick the instrument that was left--a cello. He ended up having to walk to and from school a mile both ways with that thing strapped to his back. He also learned finger dexterity from playing. Both of these factors, he swears, helped him become an All-American football player. He said he never wanted to be a musician, but this music teacher changed his life by simply giving his body a chance to work on a few skills. I never thought of music as a physically defining action, but I suppose that it really can have effects on students that I could never dream up in a million years. How crazy that he attributes his football skills to his music teacher...I love it, and I can't wait to teach music someday.

Kind of a random train of thought that's been going through my head recently...
How do you know that you're REALLY in love? That there's not something better out there just waiting for you to commit and say "yes, i want to be with you for good" so it can rear its ugly head and cause all kinds of havoc? Cory, if you're reading this, fear not--I'm definitely not considering rearranging my current relationship situation--I'm just...thinking. How long's long enough? How much of love is thought, and how much is instinct and action? ...and how much do I overanalyze every little thing in my life? haha. Can't help but love it. It comes in handy sometimes, believe it or not.

I think music's good for me because it keeps me from overanalyzing. If I overanalyze, I screw up. If I don't, then I seem to play well. It's one of those things you just need to DO...not stop and think, well, maybe if I just did this a little better or didn't do that. That's when I screw up the most...or when I'm thinking, "Am I really playing this well??!!" There's a time to think, and a time to say screw it and just go.

Life is good these days. I'm feeling very open and relaxed.