Emily just graduated. I'm so happy for her, but it's been an emotional roller coaster for me the past few days, weeks, months...you name it. This break up has tried to hard to drown me in its ocean of unhappiness, pulling me under when I least expect it, causing me to be unable to breathe, leaving me tossed and turned, not knowing which way is up. I've tried so hard to keep moving forward, and I'm generally succeeding...but it's hard when he likes someone else already and has moved on and you're silently standing by (really silently now, because we're not talking) watching him be happy while you struggle to cope with the fact that you are living life alone now for the first time in 8 years. I know I'm not alone, but single I suppose I should say. There are times I'm happy with this, and there are times when I just want to cry my eyes out because I know deep down, something is missing. I know Cory and I weren't compatible...he says some of the meanest stuff sometimes and we just fought all the time and it wasn't right--but I suppose it was something, a big something, to me for a year and a half of my life, and it's hard for me just to move on as a single person (who hasn't been single for a legit period of time since I first started dating people when I was 16...), especially when he's already moved on with a girl that I severely dislike--probably because he likes her. But I honestly don't care.
I feel like I'm drowning sometimes...life alone can be great, and it can also be tragically hard. I'm doing my best to pay rent and make it all work...but I'm struggling to keep momentum up and stay positive. Tonight's just a bad night. I work so much that I don't have time to stop and think about these things. I should stop checking his facebook...especially now that he's writing about how much he likes this girl.
Any positive words of encouragement would be much appreciated.
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