finding myself. again.

So, in the last few days, I've had a lot of time to think about where I am and what I'm doing with my life thanks to over a foot of snow and some snow days (my first on the teacher side of things!).  One of my friends from church happened to comment on one of my pictures on Facebook from 2006 yesterday, and I stopped to look at it.  I began remembering that time period in my life...I was going to concerts, driving to the lake just to play in it (which is where that picture was taken--ps it's my profile picture now), and singing in front of people.  Sophomore and junior year were the best of my college career in terms of my happiness and of me feeling like I was truly alive.  I let people influence me a lot still and I can't say that I really thought for myself a ton, so I don't want to say that I felt like "myself," but those were some of the best memories I have of college, and that happiness is something I'd love to get back to. :)

And I think I'm well on my way.  I feel like I've taken a giant detour away from myself for the last few years due to various relationships, depression, anxiety, and being so busy.  I'm glad I did, because it's taught me to think for myself and to learn who I really am...what I think, and feel, and want.  Things I've never known before because I was too afraid of being selfish.  I realize I need to be happy myself before I can help other people.  I need to learn how to love myself fully before I can truly love another.  And I think I'm at a good place to work on that right now.  I'm doing what I love, I'm in a transitional period, and I'm single.  I have no responsibilities and nothing tying me down. :)  It's time to get back to where I was before the last few years...except better.

I'm excited to see where life takes me.  I have no clue where I'm going, but that's where trusting God comes in.  I know I've done well in college and that all my hard work is going to pay off when I try and find a job!  A place to live will happen too.  I just need a positive attitude...it changes everything. :)