rearview mirror.

You know when you go though something, and you have that experience, and then even a few days later, your view of the experience can become clouded and changed? Like...if you look in a rearview mirror after you've driven somewhere...you only see a small part of it, and even then, you see it after it's gone through reflection and refraction.

Last night, after some prayer and a relaxing moment of reflection before bed, I awoke just before I fell asleep with this deep yearning to let Cory know that I have compassion for him and that he's missed and his friendship is missed. So I texted him. He just got back to me five minutes ago and said the following: "the reason i'm not swimming has nothing to do with you."

Wait...what? I texted him back clarifying what I meant, and he never got back to me. So I sent him a text that said that I was just trying to be nice--and that it wouldn't happen again. And that I'm not the awful person he makes me out to be. No response again. I didn't expect one that time...

Seriously...did I really look to my past with him, now that my wounds have healed over, and actually think he had changed? He's with an awful girl...who is crazy and treats him like a dog. Oh well...his decision. Will I try to share anything with him again until he comes to me and apologizes (which I'm not banking on happening?) NO. What a jerk.

In a nicer train of thought, I fell asleep peacefully last night and got a lot of sleep. I had this dream that I was sitting on the couch with someone, looking into their eyes as we talked (not in that sappy romantic way but actually just having a conversation), and then all of a sudden, his head turns to the side, and his eyes get super sappy, and he says something super romantic that ends with "...and I love you." It was a wonderful dream. Not sure what it means, but I enjoyed it. And waking up to it. :)

Here's the moral of the story: be realistic about the past. If someone is no longer in your life, move forward with better people. They're out because of some reason...and it's generally for the best.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams--live the life you've always imagined.